AntiTwilight the Musical
by vonniebeth
Summary: I think the title of this is a little self-explanatory. More chapters up soon. Please read and review.
1. Act I

**okay, the story behind this is completely my fault. I wanted to write a story based on a song and something Anti-Twilight. So we have Anti-Twilight the Musical. There'll be more later, but this all I got for now. Please review**

Act I

Scene I: Bella's Bedroom

*alarm clock going off noisily*

Bella: *groans, but doesn't wake up*

Renee: *knocks obnoxiously on the door* ISABELLA MARIE! IT'S TIME TO GET UP!

Bella: *reluctantly gets out of bed, turns the alarm off* I don't wanna go to school today.

Renee: Well, you have to. *walks back into the living room*

Bella: *to the tune of Good Morning, Baltimore from _Hairspray_* Oh, oh, oh woke up today feeling like shit, and that's normal. Oh, oh, oh wishing that I could go back to bed and sleep til past noon. That rhythm of town is tying me down. It's like a message coming from Hell. Oh, oh, oh dragging me out to the town and the people I hate. I hate you, For-or-orks. Every day's like a dead TV. Every night's like a dead iPod. Every sound's like a car alarm. I hate you, For-or-orks. And someday when I grad-u-uh-ate, you're gonna wake up and see that you'll die in pity.

Renee: Bella, stop dawdling and get ready for school.

Bella: *angry mumbling*

Scene II: School

Bella: *silently wishes she wasn't there*

Alice: Hey, Bella.

Bella: Alice, what do you want?

Alice: You woke up on the wrong side of the bed again, didn't you? Of course you did. Hey, auditions for _High School Musical_ are today. You trying out?

Bella: No. Why should I? You know I can't sing.

Alice: Come on. It'll be fun! At least go for me, since I AM the next Alice Ripley.

Bella: *rolls eyes*

Alice: Please?

Bella: Let me tell you in song. *hitting a low C* No.

Alice: Whatever. *walks away singing Bop to the Top*

Jacob: *after eavesdropping on Alice and Bella* I think you should try out, Bella. I'm going out to be Troy, since I got the amazing body. You could make a pretty good Gabriella, if you tried out, that is.

Edward: *after eavesdropping on Jacob* Puh and lease. You ain't got the amazing body cuz that's what I have. I'll get the part of Troy AND get Bella.

Jacob: *to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb* Edward has a beast-ass dream, beast-ass dream, beast-ass dream. Edward has a beast-ass dream that will not come true.

Edward: *flicks Jacob off before going to his next class*

Bella: The answer is still no.

Scene III: Biology

Edward: *sends txt message*

Bella: *hears phone go off and reads txt from Edward* Try out to HSM. *sighs angrily and types back*

Edward: *reads message* Absolutely not.

Teacher: Edward, is that a phone out I see?

Edward: *blushes* No…

Teacher: *takes phone from Edward* Have you and Bella been texting in my class again? I see it that you shall both go to detention today.

Edward: But auditions are today!

Teacher: *death stare*

Edward: I guess I'll have to miss it then.

Teacher: *walks away*

Edward: *mumbles* Thanks a lot, Bella.

Bella: Blame yourself. I told you I didn't want to try out.

Scene IV: Detention

Edward: *drums his pencil on his desk*

Bella: *turns the volume up on her iPod*

Edward: *to the tune of Move Along- All American Rejects* Go ahead and ignore me with your iPod, cuz I really just don't care. Another day that you've ruined with your meanness, with your life being weird-out. You are being mean. You once were mine to love. Ignore me, when all you're gonna do is hate, move along, move along to a happy place. And even when the place is gone, move along, move along onto somewhere else, move along.

Detention moderator: Hey, you have a nice voice.

Edward: Are you going to tell me to keep it quiet?

Detention moderator: No, I was going to tell you to go on out and go to the auditions.

Edward: Really? Thank you.

Detention moderator: Uh-huh. Everyone, go on out and audition.

Bella: What if you don't want to?

Detention moderator: *death stare*

Bella: I'm going, I'm going. Jeez.

Scene V: The Auditions

Director: Okay, thank you, Alice. Now, um, Edward Cullen, I believe it's your turn.

Edward: Yes! *jumps on stage* I'm trying out to be the part of Troy.

Director: Uh-huh. Now, can you please stop with the flaunting and get to the singing.

Group of girls: *giggle flirtatiously*

Edward: Sure thing. A 56 and a 78. *breaks into singing a song he made up on whim* How was that?

Director: Uh, it was good. Thank you, Edward. Now, we have Bella Swan up.

Bella: But I didn't sign up.

Director: Well, someone signed you up, so you better take this opportunity.

Bella: *sighs angrily* Alright. I don't know anything on _High School Musical_, but my friend told me that I would make a good Gabriella, so I guess I'll try out for that.

Director: Okay, go ahead.

Bella: *sings Everything Else from _Next to Normal_*

Director: That was really good. Thank you, Bella. Next up…

Alice: *whispers to Bella* I told you that you'd be awesome.

Bella: I probably won't get a part. I am not that good. I've said it once and I'll say it again. I am not that good.

**okay, that's all for now. Tell me what you think so far. I'll put more up when I get the chance and if you really want me to**


	2. Act II

**alright, I had this done for awhile now, but I've been too lazy to post it. Obviously, this is going to be more than 2 acts (maybe it'll go on forever. Who knows?), and Scene II for some odd reason is songless cuz I couldn't think of a good song to incorporate into it or parodize to make it fit. Review please**

Act II

Scene I: School

*everybody is looking at the cast list for High School Musical*

Alice: *screams excitedly* BELLA!

Bella: What?

Alice: YOU GOT THE PART OF GABRIELLA!

Bella: What? NOOOOOOOO!

Alice: What do you mean NOOOOOOOO! *giggles* That's great! I'm so happy for you! I got the part of Sharpay. Isn't this amazing? We're gonna be in a play together!

Bella: You're making this seem as if we're getting married.

Jacob: HAHA! I got the part of Troy! In your face, Edward!

Edward: Ensemble? WAAAAAAH!

Jacob: Well, your audition sucked.

Edward: Up your nose with a rubber hose.

Alice: Oo…

Jacob: EXCUSE ME? No! I'm not gonna let you tell me off, vampire!

Edward: What kind of insult is vampire?

Jacob: Vampires suck!

Alice: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Edward: *intrigued by Alice* You wanna piece of me?

Jacob: Ew, no thank you! I believe you wanna piece of ME!

*Edward and Jacob fight*

Bella: *face palm* This is humiliating.

Alice: No, this is good! Do you have any popcorn?

Bella: *double face palm*

Principal: HEY! NO FIGHTING IN THESE HALLWAYS! THIS IS A HIGH SCHOOL, NOT A WRESTLING RING!

Edward: That's kind of old-fashioned.

Principal: Edward Cullen, I have had enough of your shenanigans. I will be seeing you and Jacob Black in my office immediately now.

*everyone but Alice and Bella leave*

Alice: Uh, Bella? They're done fighting.

Bella: *muffled* I don't care. That was embarrassing.

Alice: Whatever. *walks to her next class*

Bella: *to the tune of Doo-Wah-Diddy* There I was just walking in the halls going I'm a freak in love with 2 guys. Now I know that I'm too good for 2 guys that fight all the time. I was normal til I met them. I was normal now I'm in a stupid play.

Random teacher: Excuse me, but Isabella Swan, shouldn't you be in class?

Bella: *sighs* I guess so.

Scene II: Principal's Office

*the Principal is trying to think of a solution for Edward and Jacob's predicament*

Principal: Okay, so Edward and Jacob, could you please tell me why the 2 of you were fighting?

Edward: Cuz he made fun of me cuz I made the ensemble for High School Musical.

Jacob: *at the same time as Edward* Cuz he's jealous that I got the part of Troy.

Principal: So, this is about the play, isn't it?

Edward, Jacob: Yes.

Principal: Then, to make things fair, how about we hold a callback session for the 2 of you for tomorrow after school, in the cafeteria, that way there's no more fighting.

Edward: *happily* Okay!

Jacob: Not okay! I got that part fair and square!

Principal: My mind is made up. Tomorrow, after school, callbacks for the part of Troy Bolton. No excuses.

Jacob: *angrily* Alright.

Edward: Jakers quakers! Why are you so grouchy about this?

Jacob: Cuz it's my part and you're trying to steal it. Stupid vampire!

Edward: Yeah, well I want it. Dumbass werewolf!

Jacob: *growls*

Edward: Toodles! *runs out of the Principal's office*

Jacob: Damn…

Scene III: The Cafeteria, later that afternoon

*Jacob, Alice and Bella are at the lunch table, and Jacob is trying to get them to support his side of the issue*

Jacob: *after explaining to Alice and Bella the situation* Can you believe that he stooped that low?

Alice: *shakes head* It sucks to be you.

Bella: Maybe Edward should just be Gabriella. I don't wanna be in this stupid play.

Alice: *laughs* That should happen! Edward playing a girl! Better, Edward playing Jacob's girlfriend! *laughs harder*

Jacob: IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY! Bella, you HAVE to be Gabriella. No one else can do it better than you, and I don't mean just being Gabriella.

Alice: *immediately stops laughing, chokes on her chocolate milk* Wait, what? Bella, since when have you been dating Jacob?

Bella: *thinks a moment* 2 weeks?

Alice: *to the tune of I Feel Pretty from _West Side Story_* I feel jealous, oh so jealous. I feel jealous and envious and dumb, and I pity anyone that cannot be you. I am so sorry, but I can't help to sing out my emotions to you, cuz you love an amazingly hot guy.

Bella: *jaw drops, but doesn't say anything*

Alice: *coughs* Sorry.

Edward: *puts his lunch down next to Bella* Hey babe, did you hear? I'm going to win the callback, so we get that kiss scene.

Alice: She's speechless right now… hey, wait a minute! There is no kiss scene in High School Musical!

Edward: Yes there is! In the sequel!

Jacob: *Gibbs-slaps Edward* You idiot! You can't win the callback if you think we're doing the sequel! We're doing the first one!

Edward: Damn…

Jacob: Yeah, and did you hear that me and Bella are going out now? Dream on, asshole. *leaves the lunch table*

Edward: *stares into space, unable to say anything*

Alice: Ha, it seems like you 2 are perfect for each other. You're both frozen with thoughts. *giggles* See you later. I gotta go to choir.

Bella, Edward: *both continue to stare in space without the ability to talk*

Scene IV: The Cafeteria, the next day after school

*Jacob and Edward are getting ready for the callback just as the director rushes in*

Director: Okay, so your principal has told me that you think that my decisions are unfair. So I want you guys to sing a different song. Jacob Black, since you originally were supposed to be Troy, you may go first.

Jacob: HELL YES! *sticks tongue out at Edward* Okay, tell me when to go.

Director: You may start at any time, Mr. Black.

Jacob: *takes a deep breath, then belts into Dream On-Aerosmith*

Director: *applauds* Very nice, Jacob. Now, Edward Cullen, your turn.

Edward: Uh, here's the problem: Jacob sang the song I was going to sing, so I'm out of ideas.

Director: Oh, so now you can't make up a song on the spot?

Jacob: *snickers loudly*

Edward: *death stare* Alright, you asked for it, Jacob! *to the tune of London Bridge* Edward Cullen's really great, really great, really great! Edward Cullen's really great, and deserves the opposite of hate, WHICH IS LOVE!

Jacob: Hey, you stole that from London Tipton!

Director: I think I have everything I need now. My final and utmost decision will be posted on the bulletin board tomorrow morning. Goodbye.

Edward: Wait, Mr. Director Guy! Can I have another chance?

Director: *looks at watch* Okay, but make it fast. I have a dentist appointment at 4.

Edward: You got it! *breaks into La Vie Boheme and dances on top of the tables* TAH-DAH!

Director: Okay. Just look at the bulletin board tomorrow.

Bella: *runs into the cafeteria* Wait, director!

Director: WHAT?

Bella: I don't wanna be Gabriella.

Director: We'll talk tomorrow. I'm gonna be late for my orthodontist appointment! Bye! *runs out of the cafeteria*

Bella: His teeth looked perfectly perfect to me.

Edward: I thought he was going to the dentist.

Jacob: Eddy, I am SO gonna prove you wrong tomorrow. I'll still be Troy. You'll see!


End file.
